One month ago I fell from a hammock and hit both my back and my head quite hard. Subsequently, I was forced to SLOW DOWN, literally and figuratively. Fractured ribs in itself will physically slow anyone down…… and I learned how to walk as a different person. As the pain subsided, I began to move faster. Vertigo set in. Actually, it was there all along, but I chalked it up to the medication I was on. Now (belatedly) I realize I have a head injury. wow. That in itself creates a very different story than a ‘back’ injury. I continue to move much slower than my former self, as combating vertigo includes slow, deliberate movement.

Interesting.

People hurry by me all the time. I find myself listening more often and differently. Multi-tasking, which has not been a strong point for me, became nearly impossible. And ‘exercise’ means something totally different than before. Week 1: exercise was getting in and out of bed; Week 2: exercise was showering and getting myself dressed; Week 3: house chores- like washing dishes, minimal cleaning and a little laundry; Week 4: walking to places and trying to act normal.

The thing is, slowing down has not all been bad. Maybe this is the message my body (or the universe) is trying to give me. What have I learned from this experience? To slow down (literally and figuratively); to get more sleep; to listen to my body; to practice mindfulness so that I can really be present in each action; to say, “no, sorry I’m not available”; that healing can be supported but not rushed; to remember to appreciate the simple things in life; to be grateful for who I am and my capabilities.

Questions/thoughts to ponder:
* What is your body trying to tell you? Are you listening?
* Where do you want to choose to be more mindful – in your conversations with loved ones? as you eat? driving? where else?
* What in your life has been painful, yet because of that pain you have grown into something more beautiful?
* What (or whom) in your life do you take for granted?
* If you were to slow down, where would you start?

Thanks for listening!
Sandi

Val-ue
-relative worth, merit or importance.
-monetary or material worth.
-import or meaning, force, significance.
-liking or affection; favorable regard
-any object or quality desirable.
www.dictionary.reference.com/browse/value

A value is a principle, standard, quality or belief we consider important or desirable. They are often the core of who we are. Values are unique and will vary from person to person. Once our needs are met, we usually want to express our values. It is more difficult to express our values if our basic needs are not met.

We often value different things, or value the same things in different ways. Our individuality shows through our values. Our values most likely change over our lifetimes, as we grow and change. We, just like our students, learn values as a child in our family and cultural environments. As adolescents and adults, we ‘try on’ different values to see which of those we want to keep, and which we want to let go. Our values influence our behavior, goals and decision-making.

Understanding our own values helps us to be more conscious in our decision-making. Those who can make decisions that are in line with their values (live their values) often live a more fulfilling and satisfied life. When we make decisions that go against or do not honor important values, we are often left feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.

We all bring our own individual values to our professional life. Our values can bring us together or drive us apart. Each organization has values of it’s own (sometimes written, sometimes unwritten). We as individuals need to balance our personal values and how they blend or conflict with our professional work environments. Understanding the values of each other as a staff team can support us in working together on a common goal.

Questions to ponder:
What are your core values?
Do you make decisions based on your values?
When you talk to youth, do you ever ask them about their values?
What values of your are currently not being honored? And what can you do to change that?

-Sandi

Whaddya know? Falling out of a hammock is a dangerous sport. I found this out recently. I’m an avid fan of hammocks and have previously thought of myself as a semi-professional hammock-er. ? Until recently.

My husband and I went to the Boundary Waters (BWCA) last Thursday with friends on the start of one of my most favorite trips/vacations. We found a great campsite, and even got tents and all set up just before the rain. Then after a nice shower – the sky cleared and we were good to go. My friends set up the hammock, and because it was over a rocky hill, the big guy decided to ‘test’ the hammock to be sure the knots held. He sat in it for nearly a half an hour, swinging and relaxing and I’m nearly drooling with anticipation of pulling out a good book and reading in the hammock. So, after the rain stopped the boys went fishing and I headed straight to the hammock. As I usually do (being a semi-professional hammock-sitter), I tested the hammock by gingerly sitting sideways in it – to test the line. Even though my friend had already sat in it for awhile. It passed the test with flying colors, so I leaned backwards……… and the rope snapped!

I fell backwards even further, and landed hard on the rocky hill spread out as if I were going to make angels in the snow. I even saw stars. And felt a LOT of pain. The back of my head landed on a log and the right side of my back landed on a particularly hard rock that jutted out from the rest. It was a very scary tense time for the next moments afterwards. My hands and feet went numb, I felt a lot of pain, and couldn’t move. Then, I didn’t want to move because of the pain. My husband and friends reacted with amazing speed and grace, and waited until I gave permission to move me to an air mattress on the sand. Luckily, the log I hit my head on was water logged, and there seemed to be no scratches or broken bones anywhere. No blood even! We s-l-o-w-l-y backtracked to our entry point, leaving campsite set up. Being treated at the Grand Marais emergency room is another story.

I’m writing this now, a week later, still moving very slowly as my back is trying to heal. I’ve gotten over the ‘embarrassment’ of telling folks that I got hurt falling out of a hammock. It seems (according to many I’ve spoken to) that this hammock falling actually IS a dangerous sport, and I am not the first to be injured in this way.

It makes me think of how short life really is…..how, regardless of planning; the unexpected happens. I am thankful and consider myself lucky and blessed, as I could have easily snapped my neck or broken my spine. Instead, I have injuries that will heal. I have supportive friends and family. I have had to reacquaint myself with my body. I have had to have help getting out of bed, getting dressed, bathing…..I never realized how much we use our back muscles in our daily motions. Being mindful and being patient with myself and my healing has been extremely helpful and insightful.

What are you especially grateful for in your body? in your life? What part of your body would you have a difficult time without? Which of your relationships are most important to you? How do you find the silver lining on a dark cloud? How often do you visit or call friends who are in pain? Do you allow others to support you? Is it difficult to accept help? Is it difficult for you to ask for help? Do you allow yourself time to heal? Do you pray? Do you allow yourself to be weak in front of others? These are just a few of the questions that run through my mind; questions and comments to share with you. I’m curious to hear your thoughts or questions that arise from reading this. Thank you for allowing me to share this with you.
-Sandi

I’m baaaa-ack! So, after nearly a year reprieve from thinking about blogs, I’m back at it. I’ve decided to continue here with wordpress as well as continuing blogging my thoughts about life and coaching and changes and challenges. I continue to move forward with my business, ¡Adelante Coaching! on a pace that I can handle while I explore other areas of life. I had a successful presentation at this year’s Summer Institute on Adolescent Health hosted by the University of MN and the MN Department of Health: “Youth as Experts: Essential Life Coaching SKills”. I hope to provide some excerpts of that speech here. I also continue to work on my PhD in Professional Coaching and Human Development through the International University of Professional Studies (IUPS.edu). Meanwhile, it’s nearly fall and I go back to work next week to prepare for the high school students starting the following week. If you’re on facebook, look me up as well as looking up my fan page: ¡Adelante Coaching! And, I’m also new to twitter. Let me know if you’re on twitter and I can follow you too: www.twitter.com/sandilindgren
Life is good!
-Sandi

Please excuse, as this blog is temporarily on hold while I reconfigure my blog and it’s purpose. Thanks for your interest, and I’m still available if you wish to contact me via this blog.
Feel free to check out my website at: www.adelantecoaching.com or email me at sandi@adelantecoaching.com.
Peace!
Sandi Lindgren

A friend of mine recently commented to me during a conversation that she hadn’t sent me information about something because she didn’t think I was philosophical enough. Now I have to admit, that kind of hurt my feelings…..at first. I thought indignantly, “I am TOO philosophical!” And then of course later began to wonder if I indeed AM philosophical, and what does that mean by the way?

Let’s see: philosophical = phil.o.soph.i.cal
* “of relating to the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence…” AND “having or showing a calm attitude towards disappointments or difficulties….” (Oxford American Dictionary)

Hmmmm… well. I guess I am generally not a philosophical conversationalist. Yet, I generally do have a calm attitude towards disappointments and difficulties. In the sense that my friend was talking about, she was right. I think. At least based in the conversations that I’ve had in her company. It feels a little funny to say and to think that I am not philosophical. But I’m not. I don’t think. Does it matter?

You’re probably wondering what soup has to do with all this. I just happen to be on a ’soup kick’ this winter. Soup is a fabulous MN winter health treatment. It’s warm and helps to heat up your insides (especially if you make it with spice like I do). Soup usually contains good-for-you vegetables, is usually healthy, low(er) in fat content and BEST of all; soup is an excellent excuse for eating good, hot crusty fresh bread!

This winter, I’ve been branching out into trying new soup recipes. From scratch, not out of the box! I didn’t realize until today, that I’ve been trying a new recipe every week in 2008 (and it’s not even a resolution!). I don’t plan on continuing this for the remainder of the year, but it’s been an interesting process. I get other people’s recipes, I’ve scoured the internet for new combinations, and I’ve combined a few different versions to make something that I think I’ll like better. This year, thus far it’s been: Red Lentil Garlic Soup, Cheesy Cauliflower Soup, Broccoli Cheese Soup, Cauliflower/Broccoli/Carrot Soup, Asparagus Soup, and today – Carrot Soup! One of the weeks (last in January) I also tried a new recipe: made-from-scratch-carrot cake (for my husband’s birthday)! I’ve cooked soups I’d never imagined I’d be interested in (ie: carrot soup and asparagus soup) and have enjoyed each and every one of them. And each of them calls for an onion.

The process of chopping and sautéing, stirring, grating, tasting, cooking, mashing, blending, seasoning and ending up with a yummy result is very satisfying. It also takes a lot more time than making something out of the box. The beauty of soup is that if I don’t like it, I can change it. I can add ingredients, substitute something that the recipe calls for that I don’t like very much (ie: mushrooms) and add something I really like. If I add too much of something (ie: garlic with the first soup) I have the choice of a) going with it, and seeing how it turns out, b) adding more of the other ingredients to create more of a balance, and c) creating a diversion (adding something new).

So, here is how this all turns into a “Philosophy Soup”
. SO WHAT?
. OUT OF THE BOX
. U!
. PEELING THE ONION

SO WHAT if someone doesn’t think you are (blank). Who cares? Does it really matter? What if they are right? Does it still matter? So what if you ‘never’ do this, or that or think this way or have tried that? Does that make it wrong, just because you don’t choose to do this or think this? What image (job, role, etc.) are you holding onto that doesn’t really fit you (anymore)? Why are you hanging onto it? What would happen if you let it go? If it really does matter to you (and you know why) what do you want to do to change that perception about you?

Begin to think OUT OF THE BOX! Especially out of YOUR box! It is way too easy for us to get into habits and patterns and ways of thinking that maybe have once served us very well….. and no longer do. It’s widely known that if you think ‘outside the box’ you will become a more creative thinker. You will see things from a different angle and become more flexible and more easily solve problems and tackle difficult issues. Maybe those problems and issues might even stay, but no longer become a problem for you? What box are you stuck in? What viewpoint have you not changed or considered changing for a long time? What would happen if you argued the opposite viewpoint? Stretch your boundaries. Think large. Get out of your box!

U are the most important person in this equation! It doesn’t matter how good you are at what you do, or how much you want to help others, or how smart you are if you are not honest with yourself. You have to begin with yourself in order to become what you want to be. So many of us like to skip this particular ingredient… of working on ourselves. You’ll notice that ALL of the ’soup’ ingredients are different parts of working on yourself. If you cannot be honest with yourself, you cannot be honest in business or with your clients. When you deny yourself, and don’t take time for self care it becomes evident in our home life and business. Where are U neglecting yourself? What are U avoiding in your life? What have U been denying yourself? What could U do for yourself that will ultimately improve your family life? Your business?

Imagine all the layers you go through when PEELING THE ONION. The analogy is often used in personal growth for obvious reasons. There are so many layers we each have to ourselves, our personalities, our habits, our intentions, our goals….. it is important to go beyond that outer ‘thick skin’ in order to get to the sweetness of the onion. As you go inward, the layers become smaller and more thin. The close to the center of yourself you get, the closer you get to the key of your existence. What layer/s have you looked at in your own onion peeling? Have you yet peeled back the protective surface layer? Have you gotten beyond the thick outer skin? What’s holding you back? What do you fear? What if the more you peel back the layers of your life you will reveal the ’sweet spot’ that you’ve been searching for in life?

So that’s it. That’s my (cheesy) soup philosophy. I wish you well and happy peeling!

Peace –
Sandi

Happy New Year and prosperous wishes to you all in 2008! By now, many of you have created some ‘new year’s resolutions’ or goals of some kind. Some of you are wondering when you’ll have time to get around to thinking about some goals, let around writing them. And others may be thinking, “Why should I make goals or resolutions, when I never follow through anyways?” What’s the point?

The point is not to write goals or resolutions. The point is that you have some thoughts about forward movement in your life. What is the saying, “If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?” (or something like that). The other point about forward movement is the knowing how to get there. If you plan to drive from MN to Alaska (you have a goal); would you just get in the car and drive where you felt like driving? Some people do. However, the folks that usually arrive at their destination, are those that have looked at a map, considered various routes, and planned at least an idea for themselves based on their goal, timeline, resources, etc. A part of that goal can be meandering around various back roads until you finally reach Alaska at a certain time of year….. See?! You can have goals AND a plan for how to accomplish them, and STILL enjoy the journey!

It’s also great to acknowledge your accomplishments. If you haven’t already, I recommend taking time to sit and think about 2007. It’s helpful to take out a calendar as well, preferably one in which you’ve written. Make a list (by month if it’s easier) of accomplishments and delightful activities for you this past year. It’s fun to look at them, and important to recognize them. This activity will also help you move forward with your plans for this next year.

Now, take some time to imagine what you’d like this year. The following questions might assist you in making a list for this year:
• What (if any) things you did last year would you like to accomplish this year?
• What (if any) things did you not get to, that you would like to do this year?
• This about 2008, and pretend it’s December 2008. Write a list of accomplishments that you’ve done over this past year.
• What is something that you’ve been yearning to do, but keep putting off?
• Make of list of things you would like to get done this year (include both work and fun, professional and personal goals).

Now that you’ve made a list, I’m going to ask you to prioritize them. At least put down which ones are really important, which one’s are optional and which are things that you’d really like to do, but not necessary (ie: travel to Mexico). Double check the ones that you put as most important and see how they align with your values (if they don’t, a question would be how to make it so). Next, put them into SMART goals. See my blog from March 2007 to revisit what are SMART goals. Or check out the Minneapolis Start Tribune article entitled, “Be A SMART Goal Setter” (quoting yours truly) by Robert Elsenpeter dated 11-24-07: http://www.startribune.com/1757/v-print/story/1553767.html. If you can’t find it, email me (sandi@adelantecoaching.com) and I’ll send you a PDF version of the article.

Doing these activities will help you to get a jump start on moving forward with your own dreams and goals this year. If you’re having trouble completing this task, there are many of us coaches out there able to help you focus and get some things accomplished. If you are new to hiring a coach, please check out the websites on my blogroll for either referrals or to get more information (specifically ICF, MN Coaches Association and ILCT). And of course, you’re more than welcome to contact me for more detailed coaching information!

Have a happy and prosperous 2008. I wish you success in ADELANTE (moving forward)! J

Peace, Sandi

This is the time, between Thanksgiving and the Hanukah/Kwanza/Christmas “Holiday” season/s where reality sets in. Many of us find ourselves not quite yet into the ‘season’ and beginning to think, OMG there are only TWO weeks left!!!! Two weeks left of school, two weeks left of shopping, two weeks before my vacation, two weeks until I see my family again, two weeks to get my cards done and mailed……. Am I close?

Now is the time to take a deep breath and breathe……. breathe……..breathe…….. This time of year CAN be delightful and calm and cheery and wonderful. You don’t HAVE to adhere to all the expectations of others. Is your time too busy that you are doing things because you “should” do them? If so, this is a good time of year to practice what I call: “Don’t should on yourself!” Do things because you WANT to do them, not only because you “should”. Give gifts because you WANT to give them. Attend holiday gatherings because you WANT to attend them. Of course we all do things that we might not have as a ‘first choice”. However, if we are choosing to do them because it is important for someone we love, do realize that it is still YOUR CHOICE! When we realize that we have a say-so in the matter, and that the choice is actually ours, it is easier to feel good about doing it. Every day, each decision we make, each action we do – we have a choice in the matter. We have a choice about what we do, how we do it, the attitude we have about it…… Do you get it yet?

Here are some coaching questions for you to ponder as your make your way through this season:
• What are some of the reasons I enjoy this holiday season? Make a list of as many things as possible. (For example, my list includes things such as: Christmas music, holiday lights, Christmas trees, snow, yummy food, time off from work and school, sleeping in, reading a good book, etc.) In the next 2-3 weeks, try to enjoy at least one thing from that list each day.
• What are some of the reason that make this holiday season difficult? Make another list. After each item written mark whether or not it is avoidable. If it is not avoidable, write next to that item something that might help this become more bearable, or even enjoyable. What changes can you make?
• During the next few weeks, on the days that are “difficult” try to increase the amount of “enjoyable” experiences.
• Consider your holiday traditions. Are they something you still enjoy? Are you doing them because “you ALWAYS do them” or because you WANT to do them. If you are not content with those traditions, consider changing them this year.
• Answer this: If I didn’t do _____ (fill in a chore/task/tradition that you are not looking forward to) this year, what would be the worst thing that could happen? What would be the best?
• If I were to change this holiday season to be exactly how I really wanted it to be, I would: ____________________.
• How do your values match (or not) your spending and gift-giving this season?
• And finally: Am I spending within my budget? Am I buying gifts that are useful? Do I really need to spend this much on gifts? Are there any gifts that I can choose to buy that will help other people? Consider gifts of donations such as adopting a family through your local community, donating toys or coats or food, working at a food shelf or serving holiday meals to the homeless or those less fortunate. Also consider making a donation to the following organizations: www.heifer.org, www.kiva.com, www.womenforwomeninternational.org, and see your gift make a difference in lives!

Above all, breathe…..breathe……breathe. So you can enjoy this holiday season!

Peace-
~ Sandi

Dia de los Muertos

November 2, 2007 was Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) commonly celebrated in Mexico and various Latino communities. Here in Minneapolis, El Colegio Charter School and Mercado Central collaborated with various artists to host the 8th annual Dia de los Muertos celebration in Minneapolis. One of the things I love about the Latino culture is the ability to celebrate and honor those who’ve passed before us…annually. Dia de los Muertos is a beautiful and exiting celebration full of music, dancing, flowers and ‘offerings’ to departed loved ones. Ofrendas (a type of alter) are created with colorful pictures, flowers, food offerings, candles and much more. Even thought I missed this year’s celebration (due to being at the ICF conference), I wanted to write about the celebration and honoring loved ones who have passed on before us.

Here, I will write a ‘verbal ofrenda’ if you will, in honor of my sister Brenda who died of cancer. She was 18 years old at the time of her death; I was 15. She had the kind of brain tumor/cancer that is found in old people; we never did find a cause. Brenda was a beautiful, vibrant teenager. I have a picture of her on my fridge, frozen in time as a young 16 or 17 year old, before the cancer was found within her. Brenda went through brain surgeries and in and out of ‘remission’ for about a year and a half before she died at home. Through the pain and suffering of that time, my sister also kept a keen sense of humor. Brenda went on to plan her funeral, the songs, psalms and scripture readings; she even personally asked 6 x-boyfriends to be her pallbearers (how could they say no?).

After the initial shock and denial of learning of her illness, my sister and our family all followed the “5 Stages of Death and Dying” (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, 1969). Individually we went through the different stages at different times and sometimes repeated them; but we found that we all experienced all 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Of course it was hard, going through the experience of losing a sister to death. Yet I can also say that from this experience I emerged a more spiritual, confident young woman. I no longer fear death, nor do I fear talking about it. I learned that at time of death and illness, it’s important for us to talk about it. Our American culture so often avoids talking about death, and this is where we can learn from and embrace cultural celebrations such as Dia de los Muertos. In our culture so often we stop checking in with those who have lost loved ones, after a few months. It’s as if we don’t know what to say – and so we avoid conversation.

Here are some coaching questions and ideas to assist YOU in moving forward so that you can celebrate loved ones:
o Make a list of loved ones lost, and on that list write down what you miss and love about each of them.
o What has death taught you?
o If you knew you had 1 more year to live; how would you live differently?
o What ritual or ceremony could you create in honor of your loved one/s?
o What are things you’d like to take care of prior to your own death?
o Are you legally prepared for you own death? (wills, power of attorney, health care directive, etc.)? Make a ‘to do’ list and set deadlines for yourself. Choose at least one person with whom you will talk with about this.
o If you’ve experienced death of a loved one; what stage or stages did you get ‘stuck’ in?
o What books or readings might be helpful to you in this journey?
o How do YOU want to be remembered? Take time to do the following exercise: Write your own obituary, as if you have lived out your life as you wish. What would you like others to say about you? How would you like people who love you to celebrate you? How do you want to be remembered? Remember, this is an activity in creativity and future thinking.
o Celebrate YOU!

Peace, Sandi

WOW!  
I have to say that once again, the ICF conference was amazing!  It was my 2nd ICF conference, and like the first, was an inspirational experience.  The keynote speakers (Julio Olalla, Zainab Salbi and Kjell Nordstrom), all had individual messages that were insightful, entertaining and powerful.  It was also delightful to meet up with so many teen and young adult coaches face-to-face and make some new connections.  Coaching teens and young adults is a much needed area that is lacking in coaches.  If you are a coach working with teens, please consider checking into the ICF’s adolescent/teen SIG (special interest group) calls that generally take place the first Monday of the month.  Randy Nathan is the SIG leader, and can be reached at: coachrandy@ypcoach.com.  Randy is also providing facilitator training for his LEAP curriculum, which is a coaching curriculum for teens and young adults.   Check it out!    

 Also, since I’m talking about teen coaches, and hoping that some of you reading this are also coaches I’d like to talk about Life’s Headwaters.  Life’s Headwaters is a non-profit coaching organization in Minneapolis whose mission includes providing coaching for teens and adults who couldn’t otherwise afford coaching.  I’m writing this for two reasons.  The first is that they are looking for more coaches.  All of the coaches are volunteers who have graduated from an ICF accredited coaching organization and have experience in coaching.  The second reason I am mentioning it here is so that if YOU are looking to experience coaching, yet don’t believe you can afford it; Life’s Headwaters is for you!  Check them out at: www.lifesheadwaters.org.       

While in Long Beach I was DELIGHTED to receive the news that my article on coaching girls will be published in choice magazine in the December’s edition of Coaching Youth.  This magazine is a great resource for coaches at a very affordable price.  I keep back issues nearby, as I often find myself going back to re-read some of the articles or information. If you’re interested, check it out at: www.choice-online.org.     

Prior to leaving Long Beach area, I went online and immediately signed up to participate and sponsor a woman in Zainab Salbi’s organization: Women For Women International.  I challenge each and every one of you to go online and look into the website: www.womenforwomen.org  and sign up.  If you actually take the time to listen to or watch some of the videos, and read the information; you’ll be motivated to respond quickly.  Men can donate yet they want women to do more than give money.  They are asking women for a 1 year commitment to not just donate $27.00 a month for the woman (“sister”) you are matched with; they want you to write and exchange letters with her.  The belief is that a part of the healing comes from sharing their stories.  You will be impacted by hearing a woman’s story and she will also get to know you through your stories.  Healing through letter writing! There is much more to this organization and the impact they have for women around the world from war torn countries, please look at the website for more details.  I will write more about the woman/sister I’ve been matched with as I receive the information. For more information about the speakers and the ICF conference, go to the ICF website at: www.coachfederation.org        

Happy November!    :-)    
 Sandi
ps. Please bear with me as I attempt to figure out the formatting in this blog; it’s changed since downloading a new operating system.