This is the time, between Thanksgiving and the Hanukah/Kwanza/Christmas “Holiday” season/s where reality sets in. Many of us find ourselves not quite yet into the ‘season’ and beginning to think, OMG there are only TWO weeks left!!!! Two weeks left of school, two weeks left of shopping, two weeks before my vacation, two weeks until I see my family again, two weeks to get my cards done and mailed……. Am I close?
Now is the time to take a deep breath and breathe……. breathe……..breathe…….. This time of year CAN be delightful and calm and cheery and wonderful. You don’t HAVE to adhere to all the expectations of others. Is your time too busy that you are doing things because you “should” do them? If so, this is a good time of year to practice what I call: “Don’t should on yourself!” Do things because you WANT to do them, not only because you “should”. Give gifts because you WANT to give them. Attend holiday gatherings because you WANT to attend them. Of course we all do things that we might not have as a ‘first choice”. However, if we are choosing to do them because it is important for someone we love, do realize that it is still YOUR CHOICE! When we realize that we have a say-so in the matter, and that the choice is actually ours, it is easier to feel good about doing it. Every day, each decision we make, each action we do – we have a choice in the matter. We have a choice about what we do, how we do it, the attitude we have about it…… Do you get it yet?
Here are some coaching questions for you to ponder as your make your way through this season:
• What are some of the reasons I enjoy this holiday season? Make a list of as many things as possible. (For example, my list includes things such as: Christmas music, holiday lights, Christmas trees, snow, yummy food, time off from work and school, sleeping in, reading a good book, etc.) In the next 2-3 weeks, try to enjoy at least one thing from that list each day.
• What are some of the reason that make this holiday season difficult? Make another list. After each item written mark whether or not it is avoidable. If it is not avoidable, write next to that item something that might help this become more bearable, or even enjoyable. What changes can you make?
• During the next few weeks, on the days that are “difficult” try to increase the amount of “enjoyable” experiences.
• Consider your holiday traditions. Are they something you still enjoy? Are you doing them because “you ALWAYS do them” or because you WANT to do them. If you are not content with those traditions, consider changing them this year.
• Answer this: If I didn’t do _____ (fill in a chore/task/tradition that you are not looking forward to) this year, what would be the worst thing that could happen? What would be the best?
• If I were to change this holiday season to be exactly how I really wanted it to be, I would: ____________________.
• How do your values match (or not) your spending and gift-giving this season?
• And finally: Am I spending within my budget? Am I buying gifts that are useful? Do I really need to spend this much on gifts? Are there any gifts that I can choose to buy that will help other people? Consider gifts of donations such as adopting a family through your local community, donating toys or coats or food, working at a food shelf or serving holiday meals to the homeless or those less fortunate. Also consider making a donation to the following organizations: www.heifer.org, www.kiva.com, www.womenforwomeninternational.org, and see your gift make a difference in lives!
Above all, breathe…..breathe……breathe. So you can enjoy this holiday season!
Peace-
~ Sandi
