April showers bring……snow and rain and hope and sunshine and light and love and beauty. Oh, and May flowers too. In Minneapolis, we had record temperatures reach 82 degrees at then end of March…. only to have a snowstorm a week later. The flower bulbs planted in my yard had actually burst through the ground in March, and their tenacious green shoots were reaching high for some sunshine. And then they were covered in snow. The good thing about April snow in Minnesota is that we know it won’t last. I believe the city of Minneapolis has ended any “snow emergency” declarations by March; snow that falls, melts quickly. Sure thing, two days after the snow, the green shoots of the flower bulbs were visible again, and will hopefully survive enough to bloom bright flowers in May.
Last month we explored setting SMART goals, and how by doing that will increase the likelihood of your achieving and completing those goals. I do realize that there are many different variations of SMART goals. Some folks use words like motivational, action-oriented, relevant…. most use specific and timely. My recommendation to you is to use the words that make the most sense TO YOU. This month, we’ll explore the importance of sharing your goals with someone else.
Before I knew any statistics about goal setting and accountability, I knew that if I shared my goal with at least someone else – it would more likely come true. People who set goals are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t set goals (duh!). People who write down their goals, increase their likelihood to achieve those goals by even more (like 50% or so) than those who do not write down their goals. When we tell our goals to someone else, our likelihood of achieving those goals jumps up higher than 70%. (When I locate the article that gives the exact statistics about goal setting, I will insert the reference in here.) This is how I learned that lesson: I am a former smoker; the pack-a-day kind of smoker. I tried to “quit smoking” so many times I considered myself a professional quitter. I just couldn’t seem to kick the habit. I became so frustrated/embarrassed and/or disillusioned about my lack of success that I decided I wouldn’t tell anyone “next” time I quit. That way, when I failed…. no one else would know, just me. Do you think I was successful in not smoking? Nope!
What I learned was that when I told others about my goal, I was more likely to follow through with that goal and therefore achieve it. When I asked others to check in with me, to see how my goal achievement is going…. It was even easier for me to succeed. You see, the “pressure” of accountability, of following through in the eyes of others is important to most of us. Especially if we choose wisely the person we’d like to help us be accountable. Choosing someone who we know cares about our completion of the goal/s yet will not shame us – is key. When I finally quit smoking for EVER (June 30, 1996), there were many things in place that helped me to be successful. I told everyone I knew that this is the date I would stop smoking. I asked many of my friends to help support me in this, and told them how they could be supportive. I wrote my goal out in various POSTIVE ways. (I found it important to eliminate the word “quit” and so instead wrote; “I choose not to smoke anymore”). We do have a choice about our actions. Re-writing my goal in a positive manner made it easier for me to follow through. I had miscellaneous examples of things for me to do instead of smoke, and kept those options close by me. I put reminders of my goal for me, everywhere imaginable: bedroom, bathroom mirror, door ways, car, notebooks, etc. I set up a reward system and followed through with it. (I still wear the expensive outdoor expedition style rain jacket that I bought with money that I would have been spending on cigarettes). And I was successful. 
Goal attainment is fun! It’s addicting! You’ll want to do more!
In summary, here are goal-setting steps that have helped me to succeed:
1. WRITE your goals in a SMART language, including an action plan (how to). It is very important to write down your goals. Many of us struggle with remembering things, and goals not written down are more like ideas and wishes. Once written, they take on new energy and new meaning.
2. Re-write, if necessary, your goal/s in POSITIVE language. I believe the in power of positive thinking. I also believe in what we focus on will be drawn to us. Rather that focusing your goals/words on what you DON’T want, try focusing on what you DO want or what you WILL do.
3. Break those goals down into bite-sized or MANAGEable pieces. One of the hugest barriers of goal accomplishments is our belief that it’s too big, too far away, or impossible. ANY thing you choose to do, can be broken down in a way that is easier to visualize the path.
4. Find at least one person to SHARE your goal with; a goal buddy, or check-in person. Find someone who will help to hold you accountable without holding you down. A coach is a great resource for this, however a friend can also help you.
5. REVIEW and revise those goals when necessary. Sometimes life gets in our way, and we need to reassess where we are and what we are doing. Don’t hang onto goals that no longer mean anything to you. If you find yourself stuck, or not where you want to be – try to be CURIOUS about the reasons. Being curious instead of blaming and shaming and “shoulding” on your self will create more space for new ideas and motivation.
6. And finally, REWARD yourself! Goal accomplishment is hard and it’s important to recognize and reward our accomplishments. CELEBRATE. If possible, set your reward for a specific goal in the beginning. Then you will have something to look forward to, as you near your goal completion.
7. Do it all over, again! With new goals and ideas and accomplishments in mind.
Enjoy the ride!
Sandi Lindgren
¡Adelante Coaching!
